Monday, June 10, 2013

Run, Scotty, Run

I couldn’t have said it better than Wonkette. Here is the linky thing to the entire article about our illustrious college dropout governor, Scott Walker. But for your entertainment, here’s some of the funstuff about his magical tour as asshat-in-chief.

Man, anti-union free market capitalism ain’t what it used to be. A few years ago, rightwing hero and prolific union-h8r Scott Walker soared into the governorship of Wisconsin with the slogan, “Wisconsin Is Open for Business.” Within a few months, he was wiping corporate jizz off his chin after ramming through right-to-work legislation and sticking it to the unions. After surviving a recall election, just how is business doing in Wisconsin?< br />

Since he [Walker] took office, his state has fallen from 11th to 44th in job creation.


[However] Surely there is some good news, right? With unions all busted, the free market is jumping in, and the invisible hand is enticing workers with high wages, stellar benefits, and all kinds of goodness, right?

Wisconsin’s wages are also declining at twice the national level.


Oh, and Walker’s BadgerCare cuts will also cost Wisconsin employers some $36 million dollars, but that’s probably good for freedom, too.

Run, Scotty, run. Then you better run faster because you won’t be able to run away from your record.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

My brother Kevin Rock, February 11, 1962 - May 26, 2013

Our sweet, giving brother, Kevin Patrick Rock, passed away suddenly Sunday, May 26, 2013.  A resident of Franklin, WI the past three years, Kevin’s life was a series of musical comedies with happy endings for everyone he touched.  For him, life was a song and dance number that needed to be performed loudly, usually with brilliantly naughty lyrics.
No one could make you feel good about yourself as could Kevin … and believe in yourself.  His was a unique talent, fueled by love.
Kevin grew up in various cities, but West Bend is where he spent most of his younger years.  He had a special childhood friend in Ron Reichert, whom he’d known since they were five-years old.  After a brief foray to Florida, where he came out as an openly gay man, Kevin settled in the Milwaukee area where he spent the rest of his life.
In Milwaukee he made a decision that defined his life by attending school and becoming a fabulous hairstylist.  Working first at Malcolm of London, then at Beauty, and finally owning his own successful business at Salon Divine, Kevin’s client list was impressive.  Everyone wanted their hair done by Kevin.  He not only made his clients more beautiful, he was their confidant; he was their friend ... they became family.  He could make them laugh until they wet their pants.
Another defining moment for Kevin was his acceptance of his addictions and his decision to remain sober.  Kevin really worked the AA program as a regular member of the Alano Club and other AA clubs.  He offered help, a shoulder to cry on and even a place to stay.  It just didn’t matter what you needed, Kevin would be there.
Kevin was a showman.  He danced with his mother, Marjorie Rock, in numerous productions, appeared in musicals, sang in show choir, collaborated with another special friend, Diane Bloom, and entertained everyone at the drop of a hat.
Most importantly, Kevin loved his family; and was selfless with his time.  He was dedicated to caring for his parents, was always available to offer sage advice and encouraged everyone.  Kevin never had his own children.  His nieces and nephews were his children and he was there for their birthdays and holidays with his arms full of presents.   Kevin was the glue that kept his siblings connected.  He was never happier than when all five were together.
Kevin is survived by his father John (Bill) Rock – a veteran, with whom Kevin accompanied on the Badger Honor Flight – and his wife Verdeen (Duffy), his siblings Timothy, Kelly (Bruce) Atwell, Thomas (Tammy), Kathryn (Blaine Schultz), Janet Howard, and the Duffy children:  David (Gayle), Jerry (Kathy), Mark, Dan (Kristin), Patricia (John Sternad), and Jackie (Kevin Bacon).  He is further survived by his beloved nieces and nephews:  Benjamin, Haley, Patrick, Brandon, Emily, Andrew, Sammie, Ian, Kiefer, Taylor, Keaton, Abby, the Mighty Quin and Katelyn.  Kevin was preceded in death by his mother, Marjorie, stepfather Don Howard, grandparents Rodney and Janet Kiefer, and A.P. and Helen Rock, and a special friend, Steve Reynolds.
In lieu of flowers, memorials will be accepted to be distributed to the Alano Club.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Celibate Pedophiles Against Equal Marriage Rights

U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops orders Catholics in a bulletin to oppose LGBT equal marriage rights and calls for prayer, fasting and personal sacrifice. Maybe they could start by not fucking little boys.

Death to religion.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Whose Sharia Law?

Since being gay is a sin according to Sharia Law, does that mean all the wingnuts who are opposed to homosexuality are trying to impose Sharia Law?

Thursday, May 23, 2013

More Screw the Poor and Public Schools

Over the protests of educators and citizens, Chicago, right-wing billionaires opposed to public education and teacher unions and Mayor Rahm Emanuel went ahead and closed 50 schools. Never mind that the kids in these poverty-laden areas now will be forced to travel to schools across gang lines, further disrupting their lives and the community. Screw the kids and screw the teachers who had the audacity to stand up for their rights and strike for better working conditions and pay. This is simply revenge. This from the article at Crooks and Liars is so true.

Those teachers the wingers call socialist thugs are the very same teachers who used themselves as human shields to protect kids during the tornado in Oklahoma, and the Newtown shootings. They're always heroes until it comes to things like paying them or improving the schools where they work. Then they're thugs, and the kids they protect are 'takers'.

The continuing effort to privatize our schools is cynical. It has nothing to do with helping children and everything to do with filling greedy pockets and fucking the poors.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Face of Modern Conservatism, Part 5

Rightwing Watch does a yeoman's job keeping up with the nastiness of the conservative side of the political spectrum.  This individual, highlighted at this link, is particularly reprehensible.

On his show last week, [Pete] Santilli went on a disgusting, violent rant in which he called for the entire Bush family and President Obama to be “tried, convicted and shot” for “treason” (and in George H.W. Bush’s case “involvement with his cronies in the John F. Kennedy assassination”) and for Hillary Clinton to be “tried, convicted and shot in the vagina.”
I’m wondering if my friend, James Wigderson, who has previously expressed his dismay that bi-partisan support for a stance he took wasn’t forthcoming will offer his bi-partisan support here and condemn Santelli for his statements ... and others.
Probably not.  He'd be apologizing 24/7.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Whining for an Apology

President Obama is rightly outraged over allegations of IRS flagging of tea party groups, as should be both liberals and conservatives. But to insist that the president apologize for this as suggested by Senator Susan Collins (R-Maine) is ludicrous.

Tell you what, in the spirit of bi-partisanship, how about the GOP apologize for the targeting by the IRS of liberal churches during the Bush Jr. years? How about the GOP apologizing for IRS targeting of enemies of Richard Nixon? Heck, why not apologize for Richard Nixon.

I could go on and on, but you get the point. I think a bi-partisan look into using the IRS by both parties to investigate those you don’t agree with is a great idea. Just get over the faux-outrage as though your side never did it.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

I'd Be Pissed Off Too

From Kevin Drum at Mother Jones regarding the IRS flagging tea party groups:

Conservative groups are as outraged as liberals would be if the Bush-era IRS were flagging groups with "environment" or "progressive" in their names. So even if, as seems likely, this whole thing turns out to have been mostly a misguided scheme cooked up by some too-clever IRS drones, it doesn't matter. Conservatives are right to be outraged and right to demand a full investigation. They suspect there might be more to it, and so would I if the shoe were on the other foot. We need to find out for sure whether this episode was just moronic, or if it had some kind of partisan motivation.

Absolutely right. I don't care (well, I do) that conservatives ignored our pleas for justice when the Bush administration was sending the IRS after groups opposed to his agenda (and they did), it's wrong to use the IRS as a tool for partisan reasons.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Sissy Boy LaPierre Steps in it Again

National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre (what do you want to bet that sissy last name led Wayne to be such a bully), had this to say recently: "How many Bostonians wished they had a gun two weeks ago?"

What an asshole.

He then ironically followed with this statement: “Boston proves it. When brave law enforcement officers did their job in that city so courageously, good guys with guns stopped terrorists with guns.”

Yep, well-trained professionals. If LaPierre had been there I’d bet two or three other innocents would have been visiting hospitals. STFU.

Looking for some bi-partisan love from my friend, James Wigderson.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Profiles in Teabaggery

You can't make this shit up.  A New Hampshire state legislator believes the government was behind the Boston bombings because one of the injured, who lost both legs, did not appear to be in pain in a picture taken just after the explosions.

I wonder if my friend, James Wigderson, will go all bi-partisan and denounce this nutcase.

Friday, April 5, 2013

R.I.P. Roger Ebert

I only knew Roger Ebert from his movie reviews.  What I have learned today is he was an unabashed, unafraid liberal.  He called out opponents of ObamaCare.  He called out the corporations and their political lackeys who prey on the sick and the poor for profit.  He said this about ObamaCare:

"My reasoning brings me back again and again to these truths: Health care is good. There comes a time in most lives when we will need it. Apart from the very richest sliver of people at the top, no one can afford to have a really major illness. Even with an excellent insurance plan, they'll find there is a limit to the costs that can be paid. If they are so sick they lose their jobs, chances are their job-connected insurance will be lost, too. If they are lucky and recover, they'll have a Pre-Existing Condition that makes them uninsurable. They can't risk getting sick again.

Every Western democracy except ours offers Universal Health Care. It is not always perfect, and we are told horror stories about this or that case in Canada or France. In America our horror stories are worse, because they're caused not by imperfections in a health care system, but by the complete absence of one. Many people know of at least one family that has been destroyed as a unit by the unavailability of affordable health care."

I always laughed at those "horror" stories the wingnuts would use as reasons not to pass ObamaCare.  Ebert was absolutely correct.  For every one "horror" story from Cananda, there are probably hundreds of real horror stories resulting from the crass neglect and indifference of corporate-run healthcare.

Rest in peace, Roger Ebert.

Why KFC is Switching to Boneless Chicken

Because they will be easier to catch.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Face of Modern Conservatism, Part 4

North Carolina.

From Wonkette:

"So let’s sum up today in North Carolina news that you can use, shall we? Don’t move there if you’re any religion that isn’t Christianity. Don’t move there if you’re at all attached to the Constitution, except probably the Second Amendment. Don’t move there if you’re a parent that has a kid in college and needs the tax deduction for said child to continue, which it totally should because you’re paying for the little brat’s everything. Don’t move there if you’re a college kid that wants to vote where you go to college. Don’t move there if you need to vote at any “unusual” times. Don’t move there right before an election, because you won’t be able to register on election day. You know what? Just don’t move there."

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The Face of Modern Conservatism, Part 3

Local attorney Rick Esenberg epitomizes the modern face of conservatism.  In the March 22 edition of the JournalSentinel he feeds the sheeple by asking seemingly reasonable questions of voter ID opponents in the wake of voting fraud charges recently being made.  He doesn’t mention (he does link) that only ten charges were filed and none of the alleged infractions would have been prevented by voter ID laws.  Ten charges out of how many millions of ballots cast in the last election?  It’s hardly the massive voter fraud imagined by the fevered minds on the right.
They’re dishonest questions.  The only purpose is to reinforce the idea that voter fraud is a problem in Wisconsin.  It’s a hack job.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Face of Modern Conservatism, Part 2

Former South Carolina GOP executive director, Todd Kincannon, likes the military so much that he wishes one member had come home dead. He tweeted this to Iraqi war veteran, Mike Prysner:

"You are an Iraq veteran? Shame you didn’t come home in a body bag."

It’s all about the compassion for our fearless modern conservative, who didn’t fight alongside Mr. Prysner … other priorities I’m sure.

The Face of Modern Conservatism, Part 1

Mop sink may be used to bathe Muslim feet.

According to the Associated Press, “Members of the state House and Senate contacted [Tennessee] state Senate Clerk Russell Humphrey to ask if the floor-level sink had been installed outside the House chamber men’s restroom to accommodate Muslims’ ritual of washing their feet before prayer.”

The hilarity never ends.

Friday, March 8, 2013

It's Republicans Who Have Destroyed Debate

My friend, James Wigderson, piled on yesterday in a post titled “Can Democrats be Taken Seriously.” It’s bad enough that he diminishes the crimes that were committed by Scott Walker associates, some of which were occurring just down the hall from Walker’s office. What’s even more ridiculous (aside from using Media Trackkers as a source ... really, James?) is the attempt, again, to resurrect the silly Dahmer/Walker tweet initiated by then Democratic spokesperson Graeme Zielinski to tarnish Dems as a whole.

As I stated previously at his site, the Zielinski tweets were inartful, and frankly, reprehensible. However, James, like his cohorts on the right, continues to imply the tweets were a direct comparison of the two when in fact Zielinski was comparing the legal teams employed by the two individuals. Walker’s defense fund and the legal representation he employed were unprecedented for a sitting governor who claimed he had nothing to fear. One can’t help but wonder if the lips of Tim Russell, Kathy Reindfleisch and the others weren’t sewn shut with golden thread.

You want to know what’s more reprehensible? It’s Scott Walker comparing himself as a wounded victim, because of the anti-Walker policy protests, to Gabby Giffords, the actually headshot-wounded representative from Arizona. Again frankly, Giffords is a hero, Walker is not. To even try to compare himself favorably to the grievously wounded Giffords is pathetic. For James to not see the difference is sad.

In reality it’s the Republicans who have lowered the quality of political debate and done their utmost to be as partisan as possible. It’s Republicans who have gone after citizens – actual citizens of this state – and attacked their means of employment, tried to suppress their voting rights, and illegally gerrymandered districts to ensure a Republican majority though the majority voted against Republicans in the last election.

The day your side stops directly assaulting the rights of Wisconsin citizens is the day we can talk.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

It Ain't Hate I Regurgitate

I made it through about 30 seconds.  This is what homeschooling does to you, or being related to dad29, though there is no proof of the latter.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

This Is So Fabulous

From the comment section over at Sadly, No! is this unveiling of the Homo Agenda ... For dad29, the most butt-sex obsessed individual I've ever had the distinct not-pleasure to encounter.  Now that their agenda is revealed, daddio can rest easier, without that uncomfortable chastity belt locked around his mid-section.

6:00 am -- Gym
8:00 am -- Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am -- Hair appointment
10:00 am -- Shopping (preferably at Marshall Fields’s, Macy’s or Nordstom’s)
12:00 pm -- Brunch
2:00 pm
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State, and Local Governments, as well as all other national governments,
2) destroy all healthy marriages,
3) replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
4) bulldoze all houses of worship,
5) secure total control of the Internet and all mass media, and
6) be fabulous
2:30 pm -- Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest
4:00 pm -- Cocktails
6:00 pm -- Light Dinner (soup, salad [with arugula and balsamic vinegar dressing], Chardonnay)
8:00 pm -- Theater
10.30 pm -- Cocktails in the ‘hood
12:00 am -- Bed (du jour)

Breitbart Still Dead One Year later

Good.  He was a douchebag and the world is better off.  This from Wonkette is right on the money. 

"Andrew Breitbart's legacy is that he helped poison the public discourse with cheap stunts and flat-out lies, and he sucked up all the oxygen in a story basically by just being the loudest asshole in any room.  He is not missed."

Thursday, February 14, 2013

I'm Thankful for Conservative Talk Radio

... because now we know where all the paranoid, stupid idiots live.  Now that we've bought up all the ammo and semi-automatic weapons let's start cleaning up this country and get them all moved into those FEMA camps.

The sad thing is, some idiot may cite this post as proof of conspiracy.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Horror

Is it possible for the Wall Street Journal and conservative in general to be this out of touch. This graphic (h/t Mother Jones) adorned a story a couple weeks ago detailing fiscal cliff tax increases.

Apparently it's commonplace (in their minds) that single women with two kids making in excess of $250,000 a year actually exist. Really. I'd like to know what planet they live on and whether they're dating. I'd get my friend Julian Who, to take me there.

And oh that sorry family with four kids whose father makes in excess of $650,000 a year. I feel heartbroken for them. They might actually have to cut out a trip overseas, sell one of their five cars and slice their vacation homes in half from four. Sadness percolates out my tear ducts.

And how about the artwork? Good grief could they have made them any more pathetic looking? Too bad the heartstrings they try to pull only work on a privileged few and the editors at WSJ.

And maybe Fred Dooley.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Another Day at Eats -- The Big Game

In our last episode, Julian had returned from another inconclusive search for the lake that moves – Lake Andromeda.  A usually reliable source had given him a location, however, all that Julian found was a soggy, rotting morass of vegetation, fish poop, fish carcasses and an obvious indentation that could have been created by the weight of a body of water.  No lake, though.
Disappointed again, he'd returned to Dirt City hoping to catch the final softball game of the year between the Dirt City Pamphleteers and their arch rivals, the Crass Corner Careerists.  Unfortunately, he had miscalculated and arrived outside Eats Restaurant six months after the game.  Since recalculating jumps through space-time without saying hello is rude, Julian went inside to see some friends.
Inside he discovered Orville Whitehead was up to old tricks, Bertha was still imposing and Roy was ... still Roy.  Roy Bent is Julian’s best friend.  He’s been working on a book about auto mechanics based on the philosophy of Nietzsche.  No Zen for him.  He’s taken to calling his place Garage Ubermensch; the tool, the car, the perfect engine … for him the search for perfect synchronization of gears and belts is a mystical thing.  He’s also sort of odd.
"Julian," Roy said.  "You missed the big game.  What happened?"
"Ah, you know, I missed my cutoff and wound up here six months later.  Shit happens.  How did the game go?"
"Well, it was like this ...."

The game started as always with a speech.  The Pamphleteers have a political following.  Other than Honus Wagner and Rusty Staub most of the team is made up of former IWW workers.  This universe seems a natural pit stop for the disenfranchised and the terminally anarchistic.  And naturally, the stands were filled with crazies looking for a soapbox.

Wilbur Knight was the first.  Wilbur usually restricts his speech to his application to be 3rd base coach for the game.  His credentials are less than impeccable for coaching, being more a rabble-rouser and defender of free speech, but he does like to coach nevertheless and has done okay with help from the players.

Today however, Wilbur decided to stage a rant directed at capitalism and the usurpation of workers’ rights through the elimination of collective bargaining and nasty name-calling of teacher-types.  You know, the cardigan-clad ones with nary a mean bone in their collective bodies whose life goal was to teach children and help enrich their lives.  The thugs.  After about twenty-five minutes of discourse at the pitcher's mound Wilbur had the partisan crowd worked up to a frenzy.  Even the Pamphleteers stood at the dugout steps.  Fans worked their way onto the outfield.  Wilbur worked the crowd in the stands and the throng on the field.

Meanwhile, Crass Corner manager, Scooter McFowl, was having a spirited argument with the umpire regarding the interruption of the game.  Since the umpire was a shop steward and an actual college graduate, Scooter wasn’t getting anywhere.

Finally, Wilbur covered the main points of his discussion one more time, asked for a vote on each point and having received approval promised a completed manifesto.  The crowd cheered again as Wilbur made his way from the field.

Still having no coaches at the corners, Rusty strolled out to the mound and asked for names.  A couple were brought forth and seconded.  Speeches ensued.  Finally, votes were cast and the elected coaches walked to the dugout.  The crowd dispersed and settled in for the game.

The game went rather smoothly for the first six innings.  There was one moment when a Pamphleteer was called out on a close call and the team nearly went on strike, but an arbitrator quickly settled the matter amicably, with concessions.  The Pamphleteers managed to push a couple runs across in the third and led the Careerists 3-2 when they came to bat in the top of the seventh, the final inning.

Pitching that day for the Pamphleteers was their ace, Catnip Turner.  He’d done a masterful job.  His high-arching lobs had been hitting the front and rear of the homeplate extension with unremitting regularity, throwing off the majority of Careerist hitters.  Now, Turner faced a young executive leading off.  His first pitch was a moderately high arching pitch that just caught the inside back part of the plate.  The next two pitches were just outside.  Not wanting to walk the first batter, Turner tossed a fat one which was ripped past second and by a diving Bobby Merkel for a base hit.

The next Careerist executive also reached base on a rare error by Honus at short.  This was followed by two swinging strikeouts.  However the number three hitter managed to eke out a walk.

With two outs and the bases loaded, little Jimmy Kross came to the plate.  Kross, a diminutive executive known for taking orders and ruthlessly carrying them out, was responsible for driving in both Careerist runs this day via the home run ball, aided by suspicious fairball calls from the ALEC-sponsored umpires.  He flexed his jaw muscles as he walked to the plate, never taking his eyes off Catnip as he readied himself in the batter’s box. There was a palpable uneasiness from the crowd.

Chanting began.  “Capitalist pig, capitalist pig.  Why don’t you swing and miss it big ... like you did on your tax returns this past year.”

Pamphleteer fans are nothing if not well-informed.

Catnip knew he couldn’t give into this guy so he decided to go right at him with the high stuff.  His first pitch soared up into the air and landed directly on the back of the plate extension for a strike.  The crowd roared.

With his teammates chattering encouragement behind and Honus urging Catnip to “Throw dat moonball,” Turner adjusted his cap, composed himself and launched the cork-filled ball up into the dusky sky.  Lost in the clouds, Catnip – and nearly everyone else – watched as the ball sailed above the lights and descended toward home plate.  Kross watched too.  Lifting his lead leg and rearing back he swung viciously at the ball as it dropped into his sweet zone.

Crack. Thunk.

The ball exploded off his bat in a flat trajectory at Catnip who was just returning to earth from  viewing his masterful pitch complete its journey.  His glove – totally by instinct and a sense of self preservation – moved in front of his groin and stopped the ball in the webbing.

Catnip looked down and found the ball in his glove.  Kross threw his bat down in disgust and muttered something about libruls as Catnip walked toward the dugout to a standing ovation.

In the outfield two fans ran quickly from left field to right field carrying a banner that said “Workers of Dirt City Unite.”  Fans poured onto the field, lifted Catnip onto their shoulders and marched around the infield.  The band kicked up a rousing version of The Internationale.  A few impromptu speeches were added before the fans and their beloved Pamphleteers walked off together to enjoy the rest of the evening recounting heroics and their efforts to overthrow the elitist corporatists from Crass Corner.   

I listened to Ray’s accounting of the big game last night and am bummed I missed it and the shrimp breole Rusty made for the after-game party.  Rusty is the best cook in Dirt City.

Maybe I’ll adjust my schedule and catch the game on my next trip.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

More Job Losses?

h/t Crooks and Liars

More tongue-in-cheek reaction to President Obama's second term.  Oh, if only this were true and Scotty "Weasel" Walker was laid off.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Another Day at Eats

Julian materialized just outside Eats on the sidewalk in front of the big picture window. Silently congratulating himself once again on successfully traversing the folds in space-time, Julian peered in the window and was gladdened to see a number of his friends were already on hand, sitting at the counter drinking coffee. It was winter, Julian noticed, and he made a mental note as he walked through the wheezing turnstile door to adjust his calculations. He'd meant to arrive six months earlier.

Roy Bent was holding court as Julian slid onto the empty stool next to him.

"Damn idiot Crass Corner Careerist did it again. Whitehead makes a complete fool of himself every time he opens his mouth."

"Vell Julian, gut to zee you. Vant some coffee?"

"Thanks Bertha. Black and strong."

The powerfully-built Bertha hustled away to get his coffee. Roy turned and slapped Julian on the back. "How'd the search go," he asked.

"Not so good. Thanks Bertha. Cigarette? Thanks. It moved again."

"Damn lake," Roy said. "When ya gonna fucking give up looking for that moving body of water?"

"Can't. It's in my blood. So what has Orville been up to again?"

Across from Julian sat Otis Stinmeyer. Stinnie is a good guy. Very large, very odorous, very single, and with an opinion about everything, especially Orville Whitehead.

"Julian, that damn sucka went an sent out a press thing attacking Kwanzaa. Fer chrissakes."

"Here Julian," Roy said. "Here's his press release in the paper. He says that and I quote, 'They don’t like America and seek to destroy it by pretending that its values as expressed in the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution, don’t apply to everyone.'"

"Who are they?"

"Ya know," Otis said pointing at Julian, "White guys like you who got no beef with blacks."

Roy said, "Fuck he ain't even got any black friends. I always love it when these white guys start talking about black culture like they know the fuck what they're talking about."

"He's got one," Otis said.

"Who?" Roy asked.

"A black friend. Harrison James. You know, that no account smartass who always asks if you understand after each sentence like yer stupid or somethin. He hugged the shit outta Orville last year. Shoulda seen the look on Orville's face, all scared an shit."

"It was fucking hilarious," Roy said. "I thought Orville was gonna shit in his pants."

"Heh. I try to shove Kwanzaa down people’s throats in an effort to divide them, but I thought I was the only one."

"Good one, Julian. Orville is so fucking white I bet he got a halo round his head. He should get a flat tire around midnight in the Kwanzaa part of town, if you get my drift."

Bertha filled Roy's cup. "Roy! Let's not be hopin he gets hurt."

"Nah. Bet you could mother him into being nicer."

Bertha was a former East German world-class wrestler before steroids were made illegal. She has always said she reserved the right to mother a guest into a submission hold.

“Vell. He does need a mutti I tink.”

Next: You never know at Eats.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Republicans in Desperate Race to Deny Demographic Changes

Republican gerrymandering of district lines may begin to pay off in other ways than winning a disproportionate number of state legislative seats. With control of state legislatures in the majority of states, many in blue states, Republicans are expected to introduce bills that would eliminate the winner-take-all electoral college rule.

So, despite losing the popular vote by a substantial margin, Republicans continue to look for ways to preserve their WASP advantage even though the nation is tilting away from that demographic. Keep an eye on Walker and his minions.

Putin would be proud.

Cross-posted at Blogging Blue