Monday, February 28, 2011

You Know You're a Conservative ...

... if you think driving 20 mph over the posted speed limit in the far right late on Capital Drive is acceptable. And then, you cut right in front of the car in the center lane, causing that person to brake to avoid a collision. And then, you do the same thing again while moving to the left lane. The best part is, you do all this without signaling and when you finally settle into the left turn only lane and must stop because there is a red light, at that moment only do you decide to alert your fellow citizens to your intentions and turn your blinker on.

It's just another of the many freedoms conservatives want back in their lives ... the freedom to be an ass and the hell with everyone else.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Lying Liars

Goebbels would have been proud of Charlie last week. No, I am not comparing Charlie to Nazis, I am simply stating a well-known fact that the techniques that Goebbels used have been studied and found effective by right-wing talk radio.

Lie enough and it will become believable. Unless contradicted, of course by your own flagship radio station.

All morning (I think it was Friday) Charlie went on ad nauseum about the "threatening" manner of the hard-working citizen protesters. He even brought on one of his junior sidekicks, Brian Fraley (himself well-versed in the techniques of lying) to offer an "eye-witness" account of the terrible anxiety being caused to state capital workers.

Funny. About 5:00 pm I turned back to WTMJ in time to hear John Nichols answer a question asked by the drive-time host. "Was the atmosphere agly?" he was asked. (Nothing like a leading question.) "No," he relied. In fact the gathering was very peaceful and so very like Wisconsin, he added. They were even polite, saying excuse and pardon me.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

You Know You're a Conservative ...

... if you think it's perfectly all right to drive down the road at 45 mph while shoveling food into your mouth.

I saw this the other day. How this woman made it safely to her destination is beyond me.

Teabaggers Converge on Madison

... no procreation ensues.

Last Saturday a small group of fleshy teabaggers traveled into enemy territory to confront hard-working Wisconsin citizens exercising their democratic right to be heard outside the state capital. Dismayed that their lows of protest could not be heard, they resorted to another tactic, one that really freaked out those assembled in prtest of Scott Walker's draconian measures.

As one, teabaggers began shedding clothing. Naked to the elements, they slipped to the ground and, well, slurping ensued. "It was kind of weird," one protestor said. Another wished that teabaggers would confine their activities to bedrooms, but then they have always been hypocritical about their rights as opposed to others.

Anyway, it was reported that at the conclusion of this weird teabag ritual, and after grunts of satisfaction, teabag males motioned to their compliant women to get to their feet, clothe and together they walked off the capital grounds.

They had succeeded, temporarily, in getting the crowd to silence. One protester said as the teabbgers left, "I'm almost ready to give into Walker. I'm not sure I could stand that again."