Old Crabby

That ideologically moribund old crustacean, Cal Thomas, has pissed me off again. His latest diatribe is against those who protested against Vietnam, and now exercise their right to protest the excesses of the Bush administration in Iraq. His target? It’s an old and useful one for soulless crabs like Cal … the elite(?).

He addresses the protestors, who recently showed up in Washington to express their anger. He calls them “aging hippies” and says that they are responsible for hundreds of thousands, nay, possibly millions of deaths after the end of Vietnam, and now are encouraging the enemy in the same way in Iraq.

He calls them the “pampered generation that eschewed self control for self indulgence (not to be confused with Dick “I had other priorities” Cheney, who could not be bothered).” Cal calls them vain for idealistically wanting to end war, racism, hunger, etc. Cal proclaims that it was all about them.

Bullshit.

Cal is the crab that wouldn’t, couldn’t shut up. If Cal had the wherewithal, Vietnam would still be fought. Never mind the hundreds of thousands, nay, possibly millions of deaths that would have occurred in Vietnam had the war continued in the manner that Cal and his minions wanted. Never mind a land maimed beyond repair, it's rivers polluted with death-inducing chemicals, it's plant life crushed, flattened. Nope, the deaths caused because of the bombs dropped, bullets shot and the multitude of other death-causing devices in the glorious arsenal that man built would not have been Cal’s fault. He would have found a way to blame that on the left, too.

A Cal column would not be complete without a stab at Hollywood. These lines from the book of Cal are especially odious:

Hollywood is the land of make-believe where love means never having to say you're sorry and acting means never having to take responsibility for your words and behavior, which are written and directed by others. These stars live behind gates with security alarms and guards to protect their privileged lives.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the double entendre Cal obliviously makes. I mean, the entire run of conservative governance from Reagan forward to Shrub has been one of not taking responsibility for words and behavior. Conservatism means never having to say you’re sorry for obfuscation of the truth. Heck, if you’re the Shrub, nothing you say is original anyway, ask Rove. Oh, and next time down the road, ask Ollie North how is personal home security system built with taxpayer dollars is functioning.

Bullshit.

Cal rebukes the Hollywood types, but when convenient uses them to try and make a point. Proving that fantasy is not just for perverts, Cal uses the "vision" of the hit television show, 24, to make his point that they’re out to get us. Earth to Cal. No one has ever said differently. We know that terrorism is a threat to the world. It’s just that we, most of us, believe in taking a legal approach to tackling this issue, not lying, listening in on communications secretly, denying habeus corpus … yeah, poor Cal and his buds … it’s little things like the Constitution that get in the way of total power.

Wasn’t it our fearless Shrub who said: Stop throwing the Constitution in my face. It's just a goddamned piece of paper!"

This is what Cal and the others can't stand, that so few stand with them.