You Can Call Me Scooter

In lieu of recent events, I have decided to undertake the legal means to rename my children. I'm certain that my wife and I do the best we can raising the three little urchins ... others have said as much, too. But a little precaution can go a long way.

So, from now on when referring to my 11 year-old son, my six year-old daughter, and my baby daughter, please call them Scooter. At least I can be assured that should any of the three become involved in some unforeseen illegal activty, their chances of avoiding jail when convicted (like Scott "Scooter" Jensen), or receiving amnesty though having lied during trial (like "Scooter" Libby) are increased.

You can never be too careful. I could take the extra step and have them join the Republican party, but that's going just a bit too far.