Another joke from my Mother.
A sperm speciment was requested of an 85-year-old man by his doctor to conduct a sperm count as part of the man's physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this ... first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried, too. First she tried with both hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor!?!?"
The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open."
(But, what are friends for?)
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