Another wacky tale from my son, Ian

Hello, all you ferrets and coffee cups. I'm Ian Rock with the latest weather forecast.

Today a black front will be fighting in from United States and farting over the northern part of Wisconsin causing high winds and falling televisions.

Red clouds will fart the region south of Milwaukee. Look out for a few blue showers. If you're planning on going out this evening, be sure to take along a sturdy gerbil. Tonight the skies will hop and temperatures will swim.

Tomorrow will be squeaky. Temperatures could reach a record 500,769,481 degrees by noon.